Policing the water use of MAGA nuts will be one of the worst jobs in America

Plentiful handguns and military assault rifles. A childish lack of communitarian instincts. A conspiracy-fueled distrust of government. Lacking in enough basic science knowledge to harbor a disbelief in climate change. Plus, narcissism.

Add all of those together, and you could not pay me enough money to walk around unarmed and tell MAGA types they are using too much water on their lawns.

Yet that’s what increasingly is going to happen in states facing historic paradigm-shifting droughts:

Sweeping restrictions on outdoor water use go into effect on Wednesday for more than 6 million residents in Southern California as officials work to conserve water during a severe drought.

The conservation rules, among the strictest ever imposed in the state, were set by the Metropolitan Water District of Southern California, one of the largest water distributors in the country.

Households are now forbidden from watering their lawns more than once a week in many jurisdictions. The goal is to slash water use by 35% as the state enters its third straight year of drought.

The rules come after California officials in March announced they were cutting State Water Project allocations from 15% to 5% of normal amid declining reservoir levels and reduced snowpack. California’s two largest reservoirs have already dropped to critically low levels, and the state this year experienced its driest January, February and March on record.

The first “sovereign citizen” nut with a Glock, and some poor civil servant won’t stand a chance. All for a $19-an-hour seasonal job. (BTW, “experience in conflict management” as a job qualification pre-supposes that the citizens with whom you will have conflicts are not impervious to reason.)

If anyone I loved wanted to apply for a job as a governmental water-use monitor, driving around in a little car and handing out citations, I’d say, “Why don’t you go for something less dangerous? Are there any tow truck driver jobs available?”

A dried lake bed is increasingly common in the many parts of the U.S. (Photo: Kalman Kovats, PixaBay)

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